Happy Birthday Dear Friends

Hello, 

This week is jammed packed with several birthdays of our very close friends. Today we would like to take the opportunity to say Happy Birthday to them and celebrate our friendships. 

First Up...

Andrea (Dre) Torres

Birthday: 11/17

Dre has been a good friend of ours for a very long time. She is absolutely adorable, super fun and always keeps things interesting. She is full of energy, witty humor, and good vibes.She is truly a bright light in a dull world.

Second Birthday...

Michelle Mooney 

Birthday: 11/18

Michelle is one of the most hilarious people that you will ever meet. She’s very spicy with a bold personality that only enhance everything that she’s doing. She’s just an all-around great person with exceptional dance skills. Prepare to smile and laugh a lot with this one. 

Lucky number three...

Krisie Smith

Birthday: 11/19

Krisie is one of the most open, honest, and caring people that you will ever meet. She loves whole heartedly and is not afraid to progress forward with changes or to take risks. She’s one of the strongest people we know. 

Fourth And Final this week.

Adriana Mach

Birthday: 11/20

Adriana is exactly the type of friend that you want; loyal, accepting, honest, and a damn good secret keeper. She has always been there whenever we have needed her and she has always been supportive and encouraging. 

So dear friends, we would like to wish a very special and Happy Birthday. We love and adore you all. We hope to celebrate many up and coming birthdays with you. 

Love, 

#kilo

The Salmon Run - Part Two

Hello Everyone,

Last week we featured information on the Patagonia sponsored Salmon Run. Today we have a recap of the event from our friend Daniel Torres who is an avid runner, brilliant writer and good friend of ours. He has been kind enough to share an account of his experience from last weekend’s 5k Run. We also received information from Marcela Rioja, an important staff member from Patagonia who has provided us with more information about Patagonia’s relationship with SOAR, other non-profits, and also about upcoming events. 

Q & A with Marcela Riojas

How do you choose a donation beneficiary?

In most years we have chosen a handful of potential beneficiaries that fit the realm of protecting our local watershed and have asked them to tell us why they deserve to be the beneficiary of the run; then as a team we choose the one that we feel is the best fit for the event and has the greatest need. This year was a bit different. We saw a huge opportunity to help SOAR and this was the perfect year to do that.  

How did you choose SOAR as this year's donation beneficiary?

For the past few years, the Salmon Run has been part of the SOAR Trail Run Series (a series of 5 runs in Ventura County). The series disbanded this year and the Salmon Run is the only one of those five runs that is left standing. This is our 22nd year!

 

In addition the SOAR initiative is set to expire in 2020 and the 2016 election is its best chance to renew the initiative.  The SOAR initiative requires the vote of the people of Ventura County before agricultural land or open space areas can be rezoned for development. This run will help set the stage for the push needed to get this initiative on the ballot, so that they people can vote to renew it. SOAR will be up against a lot of money, from outside the county and state, whose interest is in developing the open spaces left in Ventura County. SOAR will need 84,000 signatures to get this initiative on the 2016 ballot. They will be asking people to sign up to volunteer to gather signatures in the next few months. It will take a lot of boots on the ground to get this done and they don’t use outside, paid petition gatherers. These signatures will be gathered by the citizens of Ventura County. We are excited to help them launch this important work.

 

What other non-profits do you work closely with?  

In the past we have supported Los Padres ForestWatch, Cal Trout, Friends of the Santa Clara River and The Matilija Coalition for the Salmon Run. We also partner with many other local non-profits such as Santa Barbara Channelkeeper and Surfrider Foundation. Each year, Patagonia pledges 1% of net sales to environmental non-profits in addition to providing volunteer support to many of these groups. Last year, that amount totaled $6.2 million in donations and 10,424 in volunteer support.

 

What are you hoping to achieve this year as opposed to last year?  

Each year is unique unto itself and relates directly to the group of choice. This year we are hoping to make the Salmon Run a bit bigger with more runners. Part of the reason we chose SOAR is because they are looking not only financial support (as the beneficiary) but also to bring more people into their campaign to raise the awareness and get out there to gather signatures. Seemed like a perfect fit.

 

What do you want people to take away from this specific experience?  

Our hope is that SOAR is able to sign up an army of volunteers. They will need it to get 84,000 signatures! We also allow other local environmental groups to table at the run. It’s an opportunity for the runners to see the great environmental work happening in Ventura County and give them an opportunity to align with those that are of interest to them.

 

What other upcoming events/programs is Patagonia is working on?

We have a handful of environmental campaigns going on right now. You can find them listed here: http://www.patagonia.com/us/the-new-localism/

Our latest campaign is called “Jumbo Wild” and we are looking for folks to sign a petition to stop a resort development from going in the Jumbo Valley in British Columbia.

Salmon Run Recap by Daniel Torres

As I was racing the Patagonia Salmon run over this past weekend I remembered something that I had not heard in many years. “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift”. Maybe it was the atmosphere of running on a dirt trail, or that this particular race was meant to benefit and raise awareness for a non-profit called SOAR but it seems the truth behind that statement is applicable to any facet of life. As a runner it certainly is convenient to have treadmills and 24 hour gyms, but there is no equivalent to trail running. Something that I think we take for granted here in Ventura County. 

 Getting out there bright and early in the morning and seeing a large collection of people ranging from barely 8 or 9 to the fifties and sixties is a great sight. Running is a great sport. Running will get people together to do something more. Sure there are other sports that hold charity events and donate proceeds. The great thing about being involved in a race like this is that the competitors are the contributors. We didn’t get up to watch other people run, we ran. In one large group, all united temporarily for the same cause. Keeping Ventura County green. 

 Before the race began there was time to pick up the race packets and peruse the parking lot, which was staged with several booths relating the same heartfelt sentiment. Let’s protect what we have now, doing the best that we can. People are there donating their time, energy, money and information to something they believe is worth the investment. Granted I had never heard of SOAR until I registered for this race. After a little research of my own, I am incredibly grateful for this organization. Not only as a runner, but as a resident of Ventura County. 

 Their ability to get citizens involved in keeping the open spaces open and the farmland safe from some new housing or shopping development is incredible. They have been protecting this land for nearly twenty years and in doing so, protecting the environment around us and for our progeny. Something I think we can all agree is worth fighting for. Worth giving our best for. 

 Patagonia has partnered with SOAR and been putting this event on for 22 years and it seemed like the right time to make SOAR the beneficiary. The SOAR initiative is set to expire in 2020 and the opportunity to generate funds, gather a larger support base, spread the word, and ultimately have the initiative renewed is now. The 2016 election is the time to do it because the need for volunteers has never been higher. One of the requirements is no less than 84,000 signatures just to get this on the ballot. By making SOAR the focal point of this year’s event, money will be raised and awareness can be spread. Over the years Patagonia has promoted many non-profits in an effort to protect this county. Some of those include Los Padres ForestWatch, California Trout, Friends of the Santa Clara River and the Matilija Coalition. 

 Each of these non-profits would benefit greatly from widespread exposure. What’s great is that by helping these organizations, we are working to secure these measures for ourselves and our children. So check them out online or visit one of their offices and let’s do something good.

Los Padres ForestWatch - http://lpfw.org/ 

California Trout - http://caltrout.org/ 

Friends of the Santa Clara River - http://www.fscr.org/ 

The Matilija Coalition - http://www.matilija-coalition.org/index.htm 

Patagonia Local Events - http://www.patagonia.com/us/the-new-localism

Run for a Cause - SOAR with Patagonia for the 22nd Annual Salmon Run

Hello Everyone,

Today we would like to introduce an important, environmentally conscious and eco-friendly corporation whose brand is well known and respected Worldwide; Patagonia. They are a very popular company whose headquarters reside in Ventura County making them a valuable asset within our local community. According to their website, Patagonia’s Mission Statement, is to “Build the best product, cause no unnecessary harm, use business to inspire and implement solutions to the environmental crisis.” Their core values, “reflect those of a business started by a band of climbers and surfers, and the minimalist style they promoted. The approach we take towards product design demonstrates a bias for simplicity and utility.”

Patagonia originally started as a small company that produced tools and hardware to assist climbers on their exploits. The company evolved into a global business that now also makes clothes suitable for all kinds of outdoor adventurers. Climbers, skiers, snowboarders, surfers, as well as the average everyday person can enjoy something from their catalogue. Their simplistic yet functional designs appeal to everyone from all walks of life. They connect not only to nature but also to people. 

Being such an environmentally sound organization, Patagonia tries to leave a very small imprint. They are conscious of their overall effects as a company and try to give back as much as they can. They say, “For us at Patagonia, a love of wild and beautiful places demands participation in the fight to save them, and to help reverse the steep decline in the overall environmental health of our planet. We donate our time, services and at least 1% of our sales to hundreds of grassroots environmental groups all over the world who work to help reverse the tide.”

With their continued activism and participation, Patagonia organizes several local events through the year. They are currently sponsoring the 22^nd Annual 5k Salmon Run which is to be held this Sunday, November 8, 2015 in Ventura, California. The race will start at Patagonia, Inc. Located at 235 W Santa Clara St., Ventura, California 93001.

The event will help raise funds to benefit SOAR, another local non-profit organization seeking to improve our local community. Patagonia says, “We’re very excited to announce that registration is now open for the 22nd annual 5K race, to be held November 8, 2015. For over twenty years, the Ventura community has embraced and supported the Salmon Run, enabling us to directly benefit non-profit organizations focused on addressing environmental concerns right in our own backyard. We hope you can join this year’s race and be part of extending the Salmon Run’s mission for many more decades to come. This year's race beneficiary will be SOAR. SOAR is a non-profit grassroots group of citizens in Ventura County, California who are dedicated to keeping Ventura County from following the same urban sprawl pattern that has plagued the rest of Southern California. SOAR has over one thousand active members with a presence in each city of the county.”

Registration for the Salmon Run is presently offered online at RunSignUp.

https://runsignup.com/Race/CA/Ventura/PatagoniaSalmonRun5K

Since this event usually fills up quickly there are no plans for day-of registration this year. Everyone that plans to participate must register online prior to the race. Please also note that last year’s race SOLD OUT. Patagonia recommends that you register early online to guarantee a spot in this year’s run.

For more information on Patagonia please check out their website at

http://www.patagonia.com/us/home

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In case you’re interested in a little bit of info about SOAR, we have pulled some information from their website that we would like to share. If you are unfamiliar with this organization we hope that you find this introduction useful.

Who is SOAR?

 According to their website, “SOAR is a non-profit grassroots group of citizens in Ventura County, California who are dedicated to keeping Ventura County from following the same urban sprawl pattern that has plagued the rest of Southern California. SOAR has over one thousand active members with a presence in each city of the county.”

“SOAR is a series of voter initiatives that require a vote of the people before agricultural land or open space areas can be rezoned for development. The first SOAR initiative was approved by the voters in the City of Ventura in 1995. Since 1995, nine SOAR initiatives have been enacted protecting open space and agricultural land around all of the major cities in Ventura County as well as in the county’s unincorporated areas. The County SOAR initiative blocks the Ventura County Board of Supervisors from rezoning unincorporated open space, agricultural or rural land for development without a vote of the people. Eight city SOAR initiatives require city councils to obtain the approval of their citizens before allowing urban development beyond a City Urban Restriction Boundary (CURB), or, in the case of the City of Ventura, before rezoning agricultural land within the city’s sphere of influence. No other county in the United States has more effective protections against urban sprawl.”

They continue to say that, “The history of wasteful sprawl development in Southern California over the last several decades, often over the strenuous and vocal objections of residents, is testament to the fact that local elected officials have been more responsive to development pressure than to the core values of their citizens. The fact that the largest source of campaign funds for local elected officials in Southern California is pro-development money was a primary reason that Ventura County citizens recognized the need an extra level of review for urban sprawl development proposals.” They strive to further protect these beautiful hillsides and valuable farmlands within Ventura County.

They have had several accomplishments which they describe as having, “dramatically halted the traditional urban sprawl expansion pattern that has plagued Southern California. Located just north of Los Angeles County, Ventura County has been able to hold onto much of its natural open spaces and greenbelt buffers between cities, and slowed the loss of agricultural land to far below the rates experienced in other parts of Southern California, such as Orange County and the San Fernando Valley. Cities here have become more focused on re-development, infill and renewal of decaying urban cores. Major urban sprawl projects like the Hidden Creek Messenger project proposed for the open space between Moorpark and Simi Valley have been stopped as a result of SOAR.”

For information on SOAR please visit their site listed below.

http://www.soarvc.org/

** We would like to note that all of the information above is pulled from their website. We apologize for not properly citing writing credit to the original author. Please don’t sue us!! Love not lawsuits!  

Rescue, Respect, Repeat

Hey everyone, and happy Wednesday! We hope you all are enjoying the nicer weather and cooler nights these days, as well as the beautiful Fall sunrises and sunsets. Today we just want to do a quick little post about an amazing local animal activist, Marcy Christmas. She is graciously sponsoring the first 150 cat and dog adoptions at Ventura County Animal Services! All fees will be taken care of, including the licensing fees! This promotion started yesterday, and will run until all 150 pets have been adopted. So if you, or anyone you know is looking to adopt a cat or dog, this is a great time to do so! 

Head on out to one of their two locations: 

600 Aviation Drive in Camarillo

670 West Los Angeles Avenue in Simi Valley

Thank you again Marcy, your overwhelming kindness will improve the lives of these shelter animals, as well as the families that adopt them. #Christmas150

- KiLo

 

Arm The Animals

As animal lovers we are thrilled to feature a uniquely benevolent Southern California based clothing company called Arm The Animals. Spawned from a place of genuine concern, co-founders, Matt Heinmeyer and Danian Rios have created a company that makes a point to give back by donating profits to local and international animal organizations. The company evolved in memory of Matt’s sister Karen, a renowned animal lover and pet rescue advocate whose untimely death motivated him to do something in her honor.

Matt said, “Her death sent me for a pretty big loop and for about a year I was racking my brain trying to figure out something to do in her memory. I felt like I wanted to do something in her name that would keep her good works going. So one day the term, Arm The Animals, popped into my head. I wasn't sure exactly what it was going to be but I knew it was a great name so I researched the term [and] the URL’s were available so I borrowed Danian’s debit card and registered the domain. After that, I thought if I'm going to have an organization I need to have a logo, so I put together an image of the letters with the gorilla, came up with a couple more designs and it ended up becoming a t-shirt company. Instead of just saying, we've had a tragedy, I'm going to do something in her memory to raise money, we said, let's have a product, let's have a brand, let's try to make something more.”

When asked why it’s so important to their brand to preserve quality of life and to protect animals Matt said, “It’s important because the globe in general is at a crisis level as far as eco systems go; we're about 25-30 years away from having the ocean fished out and potentially collapsing the food chain. There are megafauna, silver back gorillas, elephants and rhinos that are literally disappearing! Our kids are going to grow up without knowing what a white rhino or a silver back is. There is such a battle for resources and expansion across the globe that in 5 years there will be massive consequences. If the ocean actually is fished out and collapses it's going to start a chain reaction that we can't come back from. Our advantage is that while people are browsing Instagram or Facebook, we can put an image in front of them which will generate a response; it’s all about spreading information and putting a stop or reversal into collapsing eco systems.”

Danian has his own reasons for making such important contributions to the preservations of wildlife and says, “I'm bummed out about what we've done as a people. Like Matt said, we're just consuming every resource possible in the world. I wasn't actually aware of how bad the situation was with domesticated animals until I really started researching the problem. I had animals growing up, but I never really knew how bad the situation was with euthanizing animals. Matt was the one that really started teaching and educating me on the atrocities that were taking place. It was pretty much what his sister had taught him. Having compassion and being willing to do something to make a difference is my responsibility. I like the idea of going to work every day and being able to do something that brings awareness or makes a difference in these animal’s lives, it's really fulfilling.”

Arm The Animals has had several successful collaborations with some amazingly talented artists including Tony Koehl, Franz Garcia and Abby Diamond. They most recently partnered with Alias Blake whose War Paint collection is both impressive and fashion forward. Their brilliant designs, revolutionary thinking, and continued generosity has also allowed Arm The Animals to create successful business partnerships with other important animal rescue advocates including Wildlife SOS. Their generous donations even helped facilitate the rescue of Raju, a tortured circus elephant who is now living the remainder of his life free from chains and bondage.

With commitment to their core values Arm The Animals is helping to keep no kill rescue shelters open, save elephants from captivity, as well as preserve and restore the quality of life for a variety of species worldwide. They strive to do everything within their power to create a better quality of living for both domestic and wildlife animals.

October is Pitbull Awareness Month and in order to celebrate they have created several new designs of which 20% of the proceeds will benefit four Pit Bull rescue shelters; Casa Del Toro Animal Rescue, Priceless Pet Rescue, Fresno Bully Rescue and Lilo’s Promise. Information for these Pit Bull rescue centers is available  below or on Instagram @armtheanimals.

Matt and Danian are two of the most amazing guys you will ever meet, we can’t express how incredible they truly are. They are generous, sincere and dependable people with a genuine concern for life. Please check out the new 2015 Fall designs at www.armtheanimals.com

Please also check out Arm The Animals on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @armtheanimals

For more information on the ATA collection contributors, please check out the following;

Tony Koehl, a renowned Death Metal artist that has done hundreds of album covers and has also created several designs for Arm the Animals.

http://www.sketchthesoul.com/
                     

Franz Garcia who is primarily a sketch and comic book artists but who has also done some great work with ATA over the past 2 years.

http://franzdg.blogspot.com/

Abby Diamond, an insanely talented artist whom they recently collaborated on the Finch Fight Collection. She is a brilliant and vivid artist who they plan to continue to work with.

http://finchfight.tumblr.com/

Alias Blake, a freelance artist and designer from Melbourne, Australia. With over 15 years of experience working in the fashion and design industry it’s no wonder that her War Paint collection is colorful and amazing.

http://www.aliasblake.com

Pit Bull Awareness and Rescue Information:

Casa Del Toro: www.loveanimals.org/pets/oakley-the-tripod-pup.html or IG @cdtrescue

Priceless Pet Rescue: www.pricelesspetrescue.org or IG @pricelesspetspittiecrew

Fresno Bully Rescue: www.fresnobullyrescue.org or IG @fresnobullyrescue

Lilo’s Promise: www.lilospromise.com or IG @lilospromise

USC in the Windy City

Hello everyone, Lori here. Today is, Wednesday, October 14th, and I am flying out to Chicago, Illinois. I will be spending the week with my family enjoying everything that this amazing city has to offer. We will also be attending the USC vs. Notre Dame game on Saturday; which is sort of the main reason for this trip. I come from a family of sports fans; I have spent most of my life attending Dodgers games, but also as a USC football fan and season ticket holder. During the late August through December months my family spends almost every Saturday together tailgating, travelling, and cheering on the Trojans. For me, the games are just an excuse to hang out with my "Fall Family" which includes my immediate family members, Aunts and Uncles, cousins, and good friends. Over the many years of tailgating our little group has become quite close; together we have seen some triumphant victories, spectacular physical feats, explored amazing cities, and experienced disappointing losses. We have also witnessed several coaches try to bring a National Championship back to Los Angeles.

Not so surprisingly, it was announced earlier this week the USC's head coach Steve Sarkisian was released from his position and that Clay Helton, USC’s offensive coordinator, would take over in the interim. Helton will lead the Trojans against Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana for Saturday's match up. As a fan, every game matters. But this particular game, against one of our longest standing rivals, will have a considerable amount of eyes watching and judging. The new coach along with the team will be under the microscope. USC loves to win, who doesn't? It is crucial for the program to win in South Bend otherwise the potential for a descent Bowl game is out the door. A victory would also help restore confidence to both the players and fans. South Bend, Indiana is a very long way to travel in order to lose, which hopefully will not happen. I have a feeling that USC will be able to triumph on Saturday.

USC's football program has seen a lot of changes and experienced several ups and downs in the last few years. I have a feeling that a new head coach, with a fresh perspective can only bring good things to USC's football program. And if for some reason we cannot pull off a win, there are plenty of stores along Chicago's Magnificent Mile to help soften the blow and comfort me.

Ivory Rose Boudoir Photography - A Tale of the Beauty Within

Hello Everyone,

This week we wanted to introduce you to a phenomenal photographer within our local community; Erika Gorman. She was recommended to us by our good friend Jasmine and our very own cosmic opposite, Kim was lucky enough to participate in her very own photo shoot with the lovely and talented Erika. Today we wish to share more information about Erika and the boudoir experience with testimonials from both Kim and Jasmine.

You can see more images on our facebook page: www.facebook.com/thearcherandthetwin

And our Instagram: @cosmic_opposites

#Kilo

Ivory Rose Boudoir was established in 2012 by Erika Gorman. It is a business that was inspired after she received her very own boudoir photo shoot. She says, "...I found myself truly inspired and in awe of the transformative process...it brought out a more confident and empowered ME. I just fell in love. And the images? They were THE peak moment of my wedding day, and a moment I will treasure forever between myself and my husband." Having had such a positive, perspective changing experience, Erika decided to use her photographic talents and offer an opportunity for other women to feel this amazing sense of empowerment.

Erika is a multi-talented artist, painter, singer, writer and photographer. She is a wife, mother, daughter and philosopher. Her ability to capture those subtle, yet special moments make her images truly unique. However, her most distinguishing characteristic is her genuine nature. She is unlike anyone else that we've ever met; she is such an incredible woman who makes her clients feel confident, sexy, safe and secure during their photo shoot. What people might not know about Erika is that she pursued a graduate degree in counseling and has also worked as a caregiver. She is a deeply compassionate person with an honest and pure soul. Her ability to fuse art and tender interaction with others makes her a natural for the intimate art of boudoir photography. Her kind and genuine nature allows clients to open up and trust beyond anything they've ever experienced, which allows for subjects to create something magical for themselves.

Erika continues to say, "It's no wonder that I have felt myself so drawn to this Boudoir world...it deeply impacted my life! Returning this gift to others and making use of my artistic talent through this profoundly invigorating medium, is just...a gift."

Her studio is located at a historically landmarked estate, Casa de los Pajaros, in Ojai, California. She and her family also live in the beautiful artist community of Ojai Valley, California.

For more information on Erika or to schedule a photo session:

Please contact her at: arivoxartist@gmail.com / 805.450.8928
Check out her work and website at: http://ivoryroseboudoir.com/

Now on to the testimonials...

Kim

As I mentioned in a previous post, this summer I really focused on myself, my health and my nutrition. I feel like I've always been fairly healthy and happy with myself, but deep down I always strived for more, something better for myself. Finally I realized enough was enough. I knew what I needed to do and I decided to suck it up and do it. It was time to actually put myself first! Over the last five months I've transformed my life and have never felt more amazing. I started seeing a nutritionist, and joined a cross fit gym. I stopped focusing on all the bullshit going on around me and only focused on the people and things that made me happy. Along this journey I came across a list of 2015 goals that I wrote down at the beginning of the year:

Workout more (check!)
Take business classes (check!)
Be mindful of my words a.k.a. don't be such a bitch (LOL... check!)
Forgive yourself (check!)
Appreciate people more (check!)
Try something new....

Try something new, huh? Ok, but what? Lori had recently mentioned to me that Jasmine did a boudoir shoot with this really amazing photographer, Erika, in Ojai. I've always wanted to do boudoir photography, but had lacked the self confidence to ever do it. I knew there was no better time to do it than now. So I did. And It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! Erika was so friendly, encouraging, and kind. She made me feel so confident and comfortable baring not only my body, but my heart and soul to her lens. It was such a liberating feeling being able to express myself in this new, completely foreign to me, raw way. There wasn't much I could hide behind. No way to block my flaws and imperfections. I had to embrace them, accept them, and appreciate them. Going to the reveal and seeing all of the amazing shots that she took, I almost didn't believe that the person in the photos were me. It's hard for me to even find the words to describe what looking at these photos makes me feel, what this whole experience has done for me. The boudoir shoot was the final step that I needed to take in this journey of reinventing myself, and I will be eternally grateful for what Erika and her incredible gift has given to me. For now I have the most amazing, beautiful photos capturing a moment in my life that I have never been more proud of. These photos represent to me the person that I once was, the person that I am today, and the journey I had to take to get there. They will forever remind me that I can do what I put my mind to. That putting myself first was the most important thing I could have ever done.

Jasmine

 Every so often, this woman gig is hard. There are a hundred people/things that chip away at who we are. It’s almost impossible to stay strong in all things. Not every challenge builds a person up, some change a heart for a long time; makes the brave become scared, the joyful become sad, the faithful become untrusting. These sentiments may apply not just to the world, but sometimes to ourselves. And in these instances, one may look to heal by doing something, going somewhere, or changing something.

Everyone has a journey, and I cannot air my map in this story. I CAN say that what had once been confident, happy and secure, for a myriad of reasons, had become insecure and hurt. I internalize too much. I carry things that don’t even belong to me. And I accept responsibility for others’ poor choices. I know how to do this. What that means is that I end up investing more on those who are, frankly, undeserving, but I don’t realize it until it’s too late. For a number of years, I’ve seen myself in a poor light. I’ve secretly believed a shred of these THINGS that have been said, that I’m not enough…and it’s unhealthy. It’s not that everything in my life was broken; my children, my faith, all greatly nurturing aspects that help me get up when I feel like I’ve been knocked down.

One morning, I had this thought. I had once been a painter, been on stage, been a singer, had written music, had overcome my fear of heights, had done things for the sake of giving time to myself to remember who I was. It had been years since I had done any of that…and the result was like a withered flower. This is when providence stepped in.

Groupon is a gamble when you’re buying services. They could be amazing. They could be the reason why you are not stoked on buying ANYTHING on line. I was scrolling through some of the items that were local and discovered a boudoir session offered by a photographer in Ojai. Being a photographer myself, I’m not usually excited about putting myself in FRONT of the camera, but something whispered inside my head: try it. It might be just what I need to get a different image of myself. I bought the voucher. And waited 2 weeks to call the photographer. I was nervous. I was scared. I’m 40, I have the body of a woman who has given birth to 3 children, but not the bounced-back body. Still, I knew that if I did this, it would be a huge exercise in self-acceptance, and THAT was what I was looking for.

When I finally called Erika, and we booked a meeting appointment where she would show me the property and walk me through the process, she asked me why I was doing this. Was it for someone? A guy? Was it for something? Was it for myself? I told her that the doubts in my head needed to be silenced, that I didn’t want to be consumed any longer by insecurity and that this experience would give me a different perspective of myself, surprise me even…that while there are amazing things that I’ve done with this mind, these hands, this body, even, I forget altogether too easily. This would be my reminder. I told her about some of the specific things I was trying to overcome and she was completely compassionate. She understood and knew exactly what she would bring to make this happen.

I was nervous so I asked a friend to come along with me to the shoot. I walked into the room that had been prepared for me and thereafter, I was in Erika’s hands. I didn’t want to look in a mirror at all - not for make up, not for wardrobe. I didn’t want to make it about the facade, it was a testing ground for feeling secure in my own imperfect skin, no hiding, no masking. Between us, there was complete trust. She encouraged, went with my movements, followed the line, and worked with the shadows. After the hour was up, I realized how easy the whole process had been. I felt amazing, brave, and utterly comfortable despite this exposure. In any other scenario, I would have been overcome with anxiety, but she’s graceful and easy. I would not have been able to do it and I feel so lucky to have had our paths cross to do this work together.

When I went to do the shoot preview, I was almost shocked at what she had captured. It was remarkable that the person in the pictures was me. I had not ever seen myself the way she had. But I am so glad and grateful that I was able to see what she saw. She captured me as powerful, secure, independent and confident. This overall experience has been cathartic. I’m not saying that the only way a woman can feel this way is by going through an experience like this, nor am I saying I was a wreck until it happened. What I am saying is that in the many paths we take toward a positive sense of self, this was perfect for me in taking steps to accept everything I am, and in believing that I AM ENOUGH in all things. This added to the beautiful parts of my life, as a reminder that I am capable, I am strong, I can pick myself up, dust myself off and accomplish unbelievable things.

What I learned more about Erika is that she has this ability to bring out and capture beauty, tenderness, fierce uniqueness, fragility and mystery in the frames of a picture. She takes this talent and helps women who have been through horrible abuses to heal. She is a proponent of every body being stunning as they are in their various stages, that beautiful bodies aren’t just one type or one way. She is the catalyst toward sincere self-acceptance.

For too many of us, we don’t like what we see in pictures. They’re riddled with all of the things we don’t really want to see. Imperfections on our skin, tired eyes, fat here. We may use these to harness ourselves. When we see them we think, I can’t. When I saw these images for the first time…and even now when I look at them for myself, I remember being in that place and doing the unexpected…and I come to place where I think, Why not?

Sometimes we need a little magic. We need a moment of outrageous beauty to help shake off the doubts, to remember that those difficult things in our lives have changed us, but not always for the worst. We CAN become stronger from difficult things and decide to still be soft in our hearts because it’s what makes us good and different and special in the world. I was reminded that it doesn’t have to be me against her, it can be us and that’s it. I also learned that things mean a different thing on a different day. A difficult gig yesterday may be the best gig I’ve ever had today. That I can define myself however I want. That there’s more to a heart than the voices that doubt, and that taking the time to do things that are constructive (despite being uncomfortable initially) are the steps toward healing and being my best self.